jackie j asked:


want admit to the truth to anything i ask him. he would call her sometimes 30 times a day everyday. he says he would think about her every now and then, he opened up to her emotionally, he says he knew she would be sexually open to anything, because he can read people. never showed a sign of a guilty conscious. i ending up checking the cell phone bills and numbers and started investigating and that is how i found out. how sad. would you say he was emotionally and sexually involved with this other person. he was willling to jeopardize our marriage over her. i feel like even now he thinks about her and misses her it’s been about a year and half ago, but it still eats at me everyday, not knowing the emotional side not so much sexually. he slept with her after 1 wk of just meeting her a total stranger. how cheap did not even use protection. would you ever trust him again, how can you go on i don’t think i will ever forgive him he ruined my life

Keep Your Marriage

Christina Caci asked:


When you’re confronted with that gut feeling that says your husband is cheating, you go on high alert. You start paying attention to everything. Some actions are innocent, but others are definitely not! Stay alert for these signs of a cheating husband. Your man suddenly starts to lose weight, and he makes a point of buying new clothes. He looks spiffy all of a sudden. He didn’t care that much about his appearance before, so you have to wonder what changed. He begins spending hour after hour at the gym. You might well start seeing improvements in his body, but does he really need all that time to work out? If he’s making it a daily habit, those hours on end might be an obsession with something other than rock-hard abs. He takes up a drinking habit – or, rather, a habit of going out to drink with the guys from work. Now he goes out with them for an after-work drink every other day, it seems. Who is he really going out with?Your sex life has changed. It’s either revved up like it hasn’t since you were honeymooners, or it is virtually nonexistent. He will either be all over you, introducing new positions and trying to get you into more graphic sexual activity, or he will back off. Either one is a red flag. Speaking of sex, has your partner suddenly brought up the idea of swinging, or of an open marriage? Many men having affairs will try to find a solution that will allow them to keep having them without getting caught – and if their wife is open to swapping partners or swinging with another couple, they may have found their easy way out. Does he spend a lot of time on the internet, but doesn’t want to share what he’s doing? If you take a look at your temporary files and find pictures of someone who is definitely not you, or an email account you don’t recognize, he is probably fooling around behind your back. Does he get a lot of calls from the same number? When you ask, he brushes it off as just someone from work, but the way he talks to them says otherwise. Press him to find out who that person is, and if he gets irritated or evasive, it’s time to search deeper. Search deeper by checking out even more signs of a cheating spouse. Soon you will hit the jackpot, and know beyond a shadow of a doubt whether your husband is stepping out with someone else.

How To Catch a Cheating Spouse

JadeyOz asked:


I just read a question about a woman who’s deployed husband cheated on her and she is coming to grip’s figuring out how to survive this , 5 answers basically told her he is fighting for the good of man kind and protecting this and that so this indescrepancy should be over looked because of everything he is going through over in Iraq , Does this war give them the right to get into relationships with other people ? does it excuse the pain cheating causes ? would you forgive and forget if your spouse did this and why?

Me personally I couldnt my father cheated on my mother in Vietnam and I have a half brother in the world I’ll never meet , this was the beginning of the downfall for my parents , so why is it ok to cheat just because they dont know if they’ll survive and come home or die fighting the war against terror? they signed up voluntarily they werent forced like my father was just because he was 18 so what make ‘s it ok and I’ll be checking names against the previous questions
So dont change your answers to get 10 points I am not the points fairy , say your peace and be honest.
Nichols you are so way out there if they loved their wives so much they would stay with their wedding vows and not cheat it just shows how weak they are and maybe they shouldnt be keeping the peace in another country if they cant keep the peace in their own marriage , dude your just way off I can smell ya from here.

How To Catch a Cheating Spouse

M. Markella asked:


So you are suspecting that your spouse may be cheating on you. You are a grown up and decide to stay calm and not use any violence. You decide not to let your spouse know you are suspecting him/her and you are ready to make plans to spy on him/her and make sure he/she is really cheating on you. You still have hope that maybe it is your imagination playing tricks on you.

Would you like to know the advantages and disadvantages of spying on your spouse? Here they are:

Advantages of spying on your spouse:

- You are going to learn the truth. At last. No more lies from your spouse, no more stupid excuses, no more doubts. Just pure truth.

- You can catch them in the act. Yes, this is hard/strong evidence. It’s the proof you are looking for and the best way to get it is by spying on him/her.

- Trust. This is a strong word. And trust between couples is really important. Trust should be mutual. But how can you be sure that your spouse deserves your trust? But, by spying on him/her of course.

- Spying on your spouse is the best way to end the affair. Your spouse made a mistake and comes begging you to let him/her come back. You could save your marriage/relationship and stay on top of the situation.

Disadvantages of spying on your spouse:

- It’s the best way to discover that truth hurts sometimes. Well, everybody hurts..sometimes!

- Your spouse may catch you while spying on him/her and this can be really frustrating. After all, your strategy was to never let your spouse know you are spying on him/her until you discover strong evidence.

- Trust. What if your spouse is loyal and there’s no affair going on? He/she will know you didn’t trust him/her and feel deeply betrayed.

- Spying on your spouse is the best way to end your marriage. Remember there’s still chance that your spouse is loyal. And spying on them for no reason could trigger strange reactions. So, watch out!

Conclusion: Make sure there are enough indications of your spouse cheating on you before spying on him/her. Good Luck

Stop Your Spouse From Cheating

~*CareBear*~ asked:


What are the signs of a cheating relationship/marriage? Anyone have any experience in this department… I know theres going to be a lot of answers on this one… Reason I want to know is my husband started acting funny 2 weeks ago and I just found out he has gotten divorce papers without even telling me he had got them!!! I havent done anything to make him upset with me and he came back from a trip two weeks ago and started to treat me differently saying he wasnt attracted to me anymore and that he just wasnt happy with our relationship. He gave me an excuse for the reason he was acting funny when I asked him and it was that he was planning a suprise for me and that he needed me to go visit some friends for a week…. this ‘suprise’ turned out to be a lie. He also doesn’t want to spend time with me anymore or go places and he doesn’t want to be at home anymore. I just cant believe that things would all go to hell like this for no reason in two weeks…what do you think?
Okay, to answer some of your questions on this we have talked about this A LOT and what I’ve gotten out of it is that in his mind divorce is the answer and hes not going to even try so save our marriage. I’ve seen other signs of cheating before this happened, so I know its a possiblity. I know its kind of a dumb question to ask without you knowing all the details but I just need to know if these are the signs and has this happened to other ppl?

How To Catch a Cheating Spouse

Daryl Campbell asked:


Poll after poll confirms what many of us already knew. Over 55% of people surveyed admitted to cheating on their partner and least once irregardless whether it is marriage or a dating relationship. Still many of us do not connect it to our own lives. A cheating spouse always happens to someone else. With millions of couples this is true but infidelity is still a reality with far too many others.

If you are having suspicions about your partner, it might be a good idea to pay a little more attention to the dynamics of your relationship. Unless they are flat out asking for it, catching a cheating partner takes detective work (within reason) and a non obvious approach. What are some things to look for?

1. Distance

You cannot pinpoint when it happened but you start to notice that your partner has lost interest in a lot of relationship activities including things to do with the family and household. The conversations are also more strained. Whatever communication the two of you had seems to be disappearing. It’s like pulling teeth to get them to say anything other than okay and uh-huh. If you ask them what’s wrong they say nothing or give some non committal answer. If they are cheating this could mean the attraction factor for the other person is growing. More room for them, less for you.

2. Physical

Cheating on a spouse or dating partner takes a certain amount of skill but no one is perfect. Sometimes you can spot the signs quite easy such as a change of fragrance and appearance for no apparent reason or the old stand by lipstick on the collar. Some are little bit more subtle like new interest. Naturally as a person you always want to grow but be on guard against sudden unexplained taste in music or food particularly if in the past they expressed reservations about these same topics. Take note also of the work hours. They may have a job that requires long work hours but gage to see if it doesn’t sometimes strike you as something out of the ordinary.

3. The Calls

It’s not as easy to catch someone cheating especially in the age of mobile phones and text messaging. But observe if your partner is receiving calls at more inappropriate times and the frequency especially if it seems to be the same number over and over again.

4. Irritable.

For some reason, when you do get pass the okay and uh-huh parts, the conversations are a bit more combative. Every couple has arguments but you sense that it’s more than usual and in many cases for no reason. Irritable may indicate that there is some guilt at work and that they are starting to blame you for “interfering” with their happiness. .

You always hope it’s not true but infidelity does exist and catching a cheating spouse, boyfriend or girlfriend can be tough. In the meantime doubt and uncertainty can take their emotional toll on you. If you do suspect something is going on then its best to find out sooner rather than later. There are of course many other indicators to watch for but for now take notice of any shifts in your relationships and stay focused to the potential warning signals.

Keep Your Marriage

Daryl Campbell asked:


You’ve probably heard the old story in one form of another. A farmer is out working in the land when several of his neighbors come by to watch him. After performing all the chores, the neighbors compliment him on his efforts and go out of their way to assure him of a great harvest this year.
Unfortunately, due to circumstances beyond his control, all the hard work was for naught. At gathering time, the farmer realizes the yield is going to be very poor. That is the cue for all the neighbors who were cheerleading his efforts to one by one knock on his door and tell him where he went wrong. In other words, they told him so.
The same thing also extends into marriage, specifically marital infidelity. Suddenly many of the people in your circle that heaped effusive praise on your spouse are now showing up at your door to tell you they knew all along he or she was no good. It seems also that a little voice told them early on your spouse is the kind of person that cheats.   
Does it end there? You wish. Now they sit you down and give you a detailed analysis of your flaws. Didn’t know you had so many did you? Gosh if only you had said this or done that then this whole mess could have been avoided.  They tried to tell you all of this in the beginning but those darn flaws of yours got in the way of you listening to them.
It’s amazing how many of us become qualified experts about someone else’s relationship. It’s also mind boggling how much of this knowledge is gained after the fact. Now everybody comes out of the shadows to jump on the “I told you so” bandwagon. You’re not unfamiliar with this mindset from your fellow human beings so it does not come as a complete shock to you; even when you factor in the “here’s what you do now” bandwagon that is also working its way to your front door. 
That’s not to say that you should close yourself down to any and all criticism. Sometimes an outside perspective can do wonders to see where you may have gone wrong.  But the reality of a cheating spouse can be a physical and emotional drain and the last thing you need is other people coming around to undermine your strength even more. Their critique of you should be based on love and respect for you; not ego gratification where they pat themselves on the back for giving you the greatest advice you ever had. More than anything they should be there unconditionally for you. That means oftentimes just listening.  You already know what you are going to do so you don’t need any advice or somebody to tell you where things went wrong. You need a sounding board because for the next month or maybe longer, you need to vent. Sure at some point even that gets old but a good friend or a close relative can be that buffer zone to make sure your anger goes no further than talk.  
When it comes to dealing with a cheating spouse a quality support group can do wonders for you. But be careful of the wolves in sheep’s clothing. People who are in the “I told you so” mode may think they are really helping you. Sadly in many instances after they are done, you feel worst than before. 

Keep Your Marriage

Rezxian asked:


This should be a national law—Marriage is a farce and its too easy to get divorced

Keep Your Marriage

Daryl Campbell asked:


In the movie Guide to A Married Man, Robert Morse is giving pointers to Walter Matthau in how to cheat on his wife. Morse is the player-player and Matthau is the new student eager to learn the art of adultery. When Matthau inquires what to do if his wife gets suspicious, Morse gives him the ultimate advice:
“Deny, deny, deny. No matter what she knows or thinks she knows, deny it.”
Whether they have seen this movie or not many a cheating spouse has inherently internalized this advice. Deny commonly referred to as lying is an essential requirement for a cheating spouse. 
We have all no doubt read or known people whose marriage is open. If they meet another person outside of the relationship who attracts them, then they go for it with the full approval of their significant other. In the old days this was known as wife swapping but as the sexual revolution of the sixties took off, the term was gradually replaced with another one; swinging. It not only denoted a lifestyle but also implied a certain amount of worldliness and sophistication. 
That may be okay for some but the overwhelming majority of couples don’t get married to become community property. Marriage as most of us understand it and practice is a commitment between two people exclusively.
But a cheating spouse does not quite see it that way. They want to have their cake and eat it too. Keep what they’ve got at home while still go out on the prowl for someone new. Yes it involves planning, money and timing but all of these come under the umbrella of lying.
Marital infidelity requires a constant covering of one’s tracks but let’s face it no one is perfect. So when a suspicious charge shows up on the billing statement or they suddenly start working longer hours at the job and you ask them about these things, they only have two options: confess or lie. You can bet if the guilt and realization of what they are doing has not stopped them so far, then the chances are pretty good they will reach for the lie.
Detecting this falsehood depends on how well you know them, not how well you THINK you know them. Some people are very good at lying. Not only can they get others to believe it but they start to buy into it a little themselves. Therefore let your instincts and powers of observation guide you.
An extramarital affair demands a certain amount of cleverness, so it stands the reason that you will have to do the same to catch them. Try not to be obvious in your questioning but what you are looking for are contradictions in what they are telling you. The one thing about lying is once a cheating spouse starts telling them then it is crucial they remember all of them. If not then they hope like anything your memory is not that good. 
Many people when trying to catch an unfaithful spouse keep waiting for the big lie to manifest itself, and sometimes it does, but in a lot of instances it is the little ones which expose the most truth. So pay attention and also take note of their body language. 
Of course if you do catch your significant other cheating they may take Robert Morse’s advice and deny, deny deny. No surprise there since the fear of being discovered can make a cheating spouse say anything. Just keep in mind that the tighter they hold onto the lies, the closer you are to getting to the truth. The one you already know.
 

How To Catch a Cheating Spouse

YBMEUBU asked:


For a man, I think he tells women about how his marriage “supposedly” sucks.

For a woman, I think she openly flirts with other men in front of her husband and talks about other men to her husband.

What do you think?

Keep Your Marriage